Survivors
Allies
Go to someone you trust. This can be through a call, in person or even a person you meet in the street who makes you feel safe.
1.
Know that it was not your fault in any way.
2.
It is normal and ok that you reacted the way you did. Everyone has a unique reaction to shock and you are not to blame or doubt yourself.
3.
“Feelings, while powerful, are not reality. They won’t hurt you or drive you insane. The true danger to your physical and mental health comes from avoiding them.”
4.
Give yourself the time and space you need. Remembering that you will feel like you get control and power again. It will just take time. Listen to your body.
5.
Reach out to the police, family friends, therapists, and professionals. This will ease your recovery.
6.
You do not have control over what happened but now, you do have control over what you do. Even if it doesn't feel like it, you HAVE control and the ability to change. Be kind to yourself. Practice mindfulness and exercise can help drastically.
7.
BE PACIENT: Remember that “there is no single way a sexual assault victim should look and act; impacts are not signs of illness, deficiencies or weakness, nor are they characteristics of the individual - rather, they are normal responses to traumatic events.” Everyone has a different reaction to traumatic events and you should only do what feels most natural.
1.
KNOW THE IMPORTANCE OF YOUR ACTIONS:
The reactions of family, friends can help or worsen the recovery of the victim/survivor. Negative reactions can lead to avoidant coping mechanisms associated with less successful recovery, while supportive reactions can assist with recovery and healing.
2.
EXAMPLES ON HOW TO BE SUPPORTIVE:
- Gently and kindly ask about the event. Do not force or push the survivor to share if they don't feel comfortable and ready.
- Validate their emotions, do not question the fact that it occurred
- Encourage them to speak to a professional and report the encounter but respect their decision.
- Show them that they are not alone and there are alternative solutions
- Understand the severity of the event and manage it proportionally
- Make it easy for them to see that they are more than just a survivor and it was not thir fault in any way.
3.
SECONDARY VICTIMS
Close friends and family are vulnerable to becoming secondary victims. Often experience the effects of trauma as well, sometimes with similar symptoms to those of primary victims, while knowledge of a traumatising event experienced by a significant other is itself traumatic - this is secondary trauma.
4.
COSTS OF THE AFTERMATH
It is important to acknowledge that there are financial costs to the victim/survivor and to the wider community. Things that can help:
- positive reactions of support (empathy, belief, understanding);
- speaking out about sexual assault;
social knowledge of the impacts of sexual assault; and having a strong, empathetic social network
5.
VICTIMS ARE NEVER AT FAULT
It doesn’t matter what someone is wearing or how they are acting, no one asks to be raped. People who sexually assault often use force, threat, or injury.
An absence of injuries to the victim does not
indicate the victim consented.
6.
